


Run to You

by FicticiousDelicious



Category: Bleach
Genre: Acceptance, Adaptation, Alternate Universe, Complete, DO NOT REPOST MY FANWORKS, Friendship, High School, Homosexuality, Love, M/M, No Sex, Realistic, Self-Harm, Suicide Themes, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 19:21:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18629671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FicticiousDelicious/pseuds/FicticiousDelicious
Summary: An emotional story about never abandoning someone dear..This story adaptation is COMPLETE.This adaptation is an Ao3 exclusive! You'll only find it here.(The original [and nonprofit] story was published by me on AFF.org with characters Lüsöh Niebal and Case[y] Collins.)!!Disclaimer!! I do not own the characters mentioned in this adaptation nor do I make any profit of any kind from their mention. Ownership of these Bleach characters goes to Tite Kubo. All Characters © Tite KuboDeviantArt.com/FicticiousDelicious or FicticiousDelicious.Tumblr.com





	1. One - Define

**Author's Note:**

> 'Run to You' is not in any way meant to promote or encourage suicide or suicidal behavior. You should read with the forewarning that this story may beat your heart up.
> 
> This version (adaptation) of 'Run to You' is a Bleach adaptation of a fictional story which I wrote and published a few years ago on AFF.org. This adaptation's only changes are the main characters' names, some of the the main character's physical details, chapter titles and some grammatical corrections. Since I'm the original author of the fictional story that this is an adaptation of, of course I have permission to do this! All the voices in my head have agreed as well. This is effectively my old style of writing so enjoy that!
> 
> Renji x Ichigo is definitely not my usual now-a-days but I am still a fan of the pairing, I feel that they have chemistry, and Renji is definitely an old love of mine from Bleach. I felt that they fit well into the roles of the main characters in this story.

 

            "'Chronic depression'. ... Abarai!"

 

            The student, Renji Abarai, rolled his head at a lazy speed toward the sharp address. "What?" he'd snapped before he could really think about his tone. He didn't actually care what he sounded like though.

 

            "It's your turn to define one of the terms. 'Chronic depression'." Their teacher was in no fooling-around mood.

 

            "I don't get to pick my own term?" Renji sassed back.

 

            "You have ten seconds to begin an answer." The teacher turned her back and began writing the two words of the term needing definition on the whiteboard under the ones other students had already defined.

 

            "Or what?" It's not like he really cared, or wanted to study with the rest of his psych class. He absolutely didn't.

 

            "Detention. An hour's worth."

 

            Renji's posture was a bit more rigid now. School policy was suspension after twenty accumulative hours of detention in a three-week period. Expulsion after so many suspensions. Better phrased this way; he'd be past his limit if he didn't babble out something.

 

            The kid at the desk in front of Renji discretely lifted his very legible notes so that the eyes behind him could read them over his shoulder. A godsend.

 

            Renji's moment of outward calm and inward sweating helped him notice the aid and he was also discrete as he read: " _a persisting state of despondency_ ". When his eyes rose from the paper their teacher was facing him again. The student's notebook in front of him slowly sank and the teacher's eyes switched from Renji, an irked look across her face, to the other kid.

 

            "Correct." The whole class was silent for a good minute or two while she turned around and wrote the definition beside the word on the whiteboard. "Since you share answers you can share detention."

 

            Renji's throat tightened. Well he wouldn't have done any better on his own...

 

            "Thirty minutes each since you're sharing. I suppose since you're a regular to that room Abarai, that you can show your accomplice where it is."

 

            Renji set his forehead down on the desk and groaned quietly while the friends he had in the class giggled softly. He wasn't over his limit now, just extremely close to it actually; so should he be grateful that he couldn't be suspended and expelled? No...he was irked that he'd have to spend thirty minutes locked up in detention. It was the last period of the day..! What shit luck...

 

 

_[Detention hall...]_

 

            "I do _not_ wanna be _here~e_..." Renji had been complaining for ten straight minutes now, ranting about his annoyance in redundant words in round-about ways.

 

            " _Shut up_. We'll be here for longer." Begging and reasoning seemed pointless but he tried anyway, this kid who had helped Renji, at a whisper.

 

            In a mocking manner Renji stared at the student across the wide table and silently, and dramatically, mouthed the exact words which the other had just warned him with. He followed that up by throwing in a few of his own, "Don't be a pussy."

 

            "I'm concerned for the amount of time they will add, so will you just _quit_? I actually have other things to be doing today."

 

            Renji scrunched his expression and faintly rocked his head either way, left then right, still mocking the other kid. He was concerned too but subconsciously he didn't want to seem so overly concerned like this pussy...who had helped him. Who had run a risk to help him... Who hadn't said he wished he'd not helped him... Suddenly Renji felt a little guilty, and that caused a silence.

 

            The more responsible of the two realized after a few minutes that the silence was going to be lasting and began taking out his school work to finish it so he wouldn't have to do it later. He wasn't fibbing when he'd said he had things to take care of today, and it was more than just book work. This student's name was Ichigo Kurosaki.

 

            While Renji rocked his chair backward to recline and did absolutely nothing besides stare at different things around the room his 'accomplice' worked in surreal and total peace. Renji thought about his friends for much of the time; he wished he could have gone to hang with them after school today... They'd told him they didn't want to wait around for his detention to end. After being left behind a countless amount of times similar to this situation - minus the other guy he shared punishment with - maybe he was finally feeling a little lonely.


	2. Two - Mutual

            "So you're still good to hang out at five?"

 

            "Yeah, I'm good for that."

 

            "It's not too late in the day?"

 

            "No it's fine."

 

            "It is kind of close to dark but it shouldn't be a problem."

 

            "I said it's fine."

 

            "Oh. Alright, see you at the store then."

 

            "See you."

 

            Phones went silent as either line was closed. See you soon...

 

 

            Renji was the second one to arrive, late by a half an hour as was his style it seemed... More of an accidental habit really, but he was lucky that Ichigo wasn't _too_ pissed.

 

            "Dude, you kept me waiting for like thirty extra minutes."

 

            Renji's hands tucked into his jeans' pockets, "It's no big deal. At least I wasn't an hour off."

 

            Seated on a bench outside of a building at least he'd been able to sit down while he was waiting. Ichigo was quick to brush off his agitation. "Well, whatever. Why do you even care about hanging out with me?" This meet-up was totally Renji's idea, which Ichigo had accepted; they 'should hang out sometime'. "I'm that guy you had detention with _once_. Wooo...not immediate friend material am I right? This just seems a little weird," utter sarcasm dashed his words and tone of voice to conceal the reality behind his front. In order to keep things chill he was trying to deter that he actually wanted to see Renji more than Renji probably wanted to see him.

 

            "You're kind of a dick actually," Renji stated with a frown, put off by the rude comments. He wasn't one to take rejection well, and while Ichigo hadn't just gotten up and walked off he was still picking up on an attitude just as bad.

 

            "Well maybe I seem like one because you-"

 

            "I don't care why actually." Renji interrupted Ichigo and they both went silent for a minute. Renji stared at Ichigo and Ichigo at him; neither willing to back from the staring-match.

 

            Renji was a well-liked guy around their school, as-in he was popular. He had plenty of friends otherwise, and Ichigo knew that fact. He was just one of the people who Renji didn't know personally until a few days ago. So even though Ichigo hoped for more out of this meet-up he didn't expect it. Renji dated a lot of girls and bragged about them to his guy-friends in the class which they shared for the last period of the day - psych class. "Takes one to know one-"

 

            "Fuck this argument," Renji stopped Ichigo again. "Seriously, just shut the hell up. We're both dicks, and I didn't go out on a limb and invite you on a date to-" Renji's faulty word slipped out of his mouth before he could use a different one. Ichigo's eyes were a little wider for just a second. "A-a hang out. To hang out." Renji rephrased. "Sorry I'm use to talking to girls."

 

            "You seem to have plenty of guys for friends. You don't 'practice' talking to them?" Ichigo wasn't going to let this one get away, not that tell-tale Freudian slip; ooh no he wasn't.

 

            Renji couldn't say 'I don't hang out with them', that was a blatant lie that even the most out of the loop person in his world could roll their eyes at. He anticipated 'you're a fucking liar' to be the response to such a lie. So Renji didn't lie. He just kept trying to patch his speech. "We double date, our girls and us so I get confused."

 

            Ichigo was disappointed that his company was trying to jip him of the truth. "You _know_ that I'm into guys." The fact that Ichigo was homosexual was a very broadly understood fact, not based off his appearance - generally Ichigo was dressed just like every typical guy, very plain. Ichigo was just out of the closet. Today, for good reason, he'd dressed a little better than usual. "I know that you know, because I'm out about it and pretty much everyone in school knows that I'm gay even if they don't know my name." He watched Renji's expression turn nervous, wagering that Renji didn't understand how telling he was being without saying a word back. "I'm being this way because you weren't straight forward about why you asked me out."

 

            "I didn't ask you out! I said we should hang."

 

            "And I'm all for that but you aren't being straight forward. I don't trust people who aren't straight with me."

 

            Renji bit his lips together at first because he was nervous and secondly to try to keep a laugh at bay as Ichigo's phrasing occurred to him. He snorted the start of a laugh and managed to stifle the rest but not stop grinning.

 

            Ichigo realized what had happened and also grinned, just a little. "Fuck it. If you dig me, _like a friend_ , I'd like to learn to dig you at least a little. Deal?"

 

            "Well...deal." Renji offered his hand to get Ichigo up from reclining uncomfortably against the wooden bench. "Don't tell anyone," he appealed after Ichigo was standing.

 

            The hand that had helped him hesitated to fall away from his but it retreated anyway. A calming breath and the reasonable request brought the sandy orange-haired boy, Ichigo, to nod in agreement. If Renji wanted to take this in baby steps he wasn't going to shove him. "What are we looking at here anyway? I've never been to this store." Ichigo began looking around himself more; something he'd avoided doing before Renji had arrived so he wouldn't have to fake being surprised. Renji and he walked to the front doors and into the enormous building; that was how he would get his answer. Right from the get-go it seemed like this store was party supply shop with decorations, food, and games all for sale on the numerous shelves. This building was several floors tall, one could see to the top from the ground floor, and everywhere it had benches for sitting to rest with elevators on the sides of the walls. There were so many people here! There were so many things to see and everything was decorated! Ichigo was amazed that you could see all the way up to the third floor from down here; he swept the longer side of his sandy orange hair off of his eye and tucked it behind an ear so he could see better. Weird streamers hung from the roof and blew around.

 

            "It's on the last floor, the top one. It's a new section with some stuff I saw on your binder."

 

            "My binder?" Ichigo gave Renji a puzzled look. "The one I decorate? You studied that?"

 

            "No! I just- I just happened to see it a few times and there was always something new you were adding from that author of those fantasy books."

 

            Ichigo looked away to make himself seem less thrilled as they walked toward an elevator. "Jarde Styeme?"

 

            "Well yeah if that's his name."

 

            "Creep," Ichigo teased, getting into the elevator with Renji a step behind. They both reached to press the '3' button simultaneously and as soon as that was obvious Renji's hand snapped back and found his pants pocket. Ichigo pressed the button.

 

            "Whatever. Why do you like fantasy?"

 

            "I don't like all of it. I just like those books." The elevator doors closed and the elevator was moving upward now with its two passengers. "Why don't you?"

 

            Renji was glad they were the only ones in here. He felt freer to be interested in what Ichigo was saying. "Why do you think I don't?"

 

            "Killing games. You like video games more than anything you said the last time we talked."

 

            "That doesn't mean I don't enjoy a good story!" Renji defended in a voice only slightly loud. The elevator stopped at the final floor and doors rolled back to reveal people who heard the last word or so that he'd barked, and despite being startled Renji and Ichigo both snickered as they got out onto the third floor. They didn't look directly at the people they walked through and started talking again once they were far from them. "Did you see that guy's face?" They were walking toward a section themed solely on Ichigo's favorite book series. "He probably thought that we were actually yelling at each other."

 

            Ichigo's laughter stopped and he rolled his eyes around with a grin. Renji sure put a lot of thought into what other people were perceiving of him, that was for sure. They stopped in front of a display after stepping off the floor tile into a carpeted corner with all the merch based on the book series set up to attract customers. "Plushies always look like such a good idea to buy, so do the statues but they're both really a waste of money unless you're weirdly into staring at them."

 

            "Huh?"

 

            "The plushies are so cute they're almost ugly. Look." Ichigo pointed toward a dragon whose normally ferocious nature was overrun by the fact that the plush toy was nearly as fat as it was tall. Ichigo shrugged, "I'd still buy one for my favorite character though I guess. So I could laugh at it."

 

            Renji walked nearer to boxed statues of characters from the series off in another direction. "I had a guy in a box that my dad's dad gave me. I took it out one day and broke it the next. The toy had been in there for years but one day I guess I just wanted to make it move." Renji poked at the plastic barrier on the front of the box; the window to the merch inside. "I glued it back together. Keep it in my closet now."

 

            "Yeah they aren't usually good to play with. Kind of stiff and some of them don't even have more than one bendable part. What's yours a figure of?"

 

            "Some Asian guy who was a monk and went wrestler. 'Chi Punch' or something dumb." Ichigo laughed and wandered on. Renji set the box back and followed his company. "So who's your favorite from this series?"

 

            They stopped at the shelves of different volumes, of which there were twelve and the final thirteenth one was being advertised with a release date. "I've always liked Eddy the monger, but you probably don't know who that is from these. I'd show you but they've never made illustrations of him or statues yet." Ichigo's eyes drifted across the volume or two he came to first, not the first and second but some of the middle ones; just what was on the shelf at eye level. Their spines hinted of the pictures printed on their covers. The cover art had really compelled him to look into these. A guy going over the side of a skyscraper without a look of fear on his face. A grey eyed wolf with its head freshly impaled and pinned to the ground by a sword. Bizarre art usually didn't mean the story was any good, but in this case the artwork hadn't lied. "Mongers are merchants, or people who encourage unpleasantness. Eddy does both, but he's damn clever as a character. Nobody even laid a hand on him until the twelfth volume."

 

            "Why would they come at him?"

 

            "Because he's a pest, a really greedy, totally dickish, clever, pest." Ichigo reread the near-future release date for the final volume on its advertisement; he would be buying that book as soon as it was available. The very day it was available. Ichigo proceeded looking around for something he might want; this display area was pretty cool. Maybe five other people were looking around too. Renji and he certainly weren't crowded.

 

            In fact Renji was trying to give Ichigo a little extra space.

 

 

            When they finished scouring the section Ichigo was ready to leave the store. Finishing up at the check-out lanes with some small items they'd decided to buy, the boys made it outside and were greeted by a mean front of wind that plastered the fronts of their clothing to their skin, sent their hair back, and made either squint to avoid their eyes drying instantly. It was early nighttime now. They fought through the wind, discussing the book series, and following the sidewalk.

 

            "The best thing sounds like the fact that he didn't know she wasn't his sister. So the twist of killing her was a complete shock right?"

 

            "Absolutely. I didn't think he was going to poison her that soon anyway. Then I read that he discovered who she was and that he was so unrepentant and I was angry. 'He did not mourn for long his mistake by too quick the strike of the blade in the drink.'" The whole series was written like that. "Double twist though because his servant poured a drink for him with the same poison in it which he drank and died. The servant didn't do it on purpose though; he really died because he was just stupid enough to gloat about that girl's death and toast to his success. ''For success ingest death, foul murderer.' The fates cried.'."

 

            Their walking began to slow as they just passed a corner of the building and turned to follow the solid wall alongside it. The wind couldn't blast them here. The parking lot was behind them. The sky was dark grey and clouds were moving across the moon as the wind pushed them. The shadow of the building was unfortunately cold. The two boys both actually felt like friends after these few hours together. Renji stopped walking suddenly.

 

            Ichigo's walking pace wasn't much faster so he stopped a small step beyond Renji and looked at the other boy. Was something wrong? He didn't get much of a chance to wonder. Renji stepped up and laid one on him! A kiss! Ichigo thought his body would melt from how soft those lips were against his. He was a hearty amount of happy for just a minute while he returned what Renji gave to him. Softly tongues were involved, and Ichigo's shopping bag fell out of his hand. When Renji stopped and backed up by a step Renji didn't look ashamed, and Ichigo was glad for it. With his sandy orange hair all messed up because of the wind it was hard to notice a sweet blush on Ichigo's face, but he was obviously smiling wide.

 

            "There." Renji picked up Ichigo's shopping bag for him.

 

            Ichigo chuckled as the other boy began to walk backwards the way they were headed with his hands pocketed in his jeans and the bag on his arm. "We should 'hang-out' again," Ichigo suggested.

 

            Renji flipped up the hood on his jacket and repocketed his hands. "We could. Sometime."

 

            Following slowly, Ichigo thumbed toward a different direction. "Aren't we walking back to our neighborhood? That way?"

 

            "Shortcut."

 

            Ichigo frowned, "'Shortcuts' are never short. They're just easier to start, and then people get lost." He followed Renji anyway, only giving the other kid a hard time briefly. He wouldn't mind being lost with Renji actually, not in the slightest.

 

            Renji felt better knowing that Ichigo liked him a little too. The shopping bag crinkled as they passed the party store's building and were vulnerable to the wind again. Maybe this fondness from Ichigo had been there for a long time; which explained him taking a risk to save Renji during class recently. All and all, Ichigo had still been pretty discrete about his feelings. Renji liked feeling _this_ wanted, and now that he knew more of Ichigo's personality he was glad to be liked by this genuine kind of guy. They walked a lonely path that use to be an easy way to get into their neighborhood since before it was fenced off, but heck. They were teenage boys. There was _nothing_ they couldn't hop over or climb.


	3. Three - Cruel

_[Some time has passed...]_

            Ichigo stared down at his school supplies which had been smacked out of his hands. His papers were all on the ground with pencils and his expensive trig class's calculator. Though not broken everything was definitely out of order now. Slowly his eyes came up and from one face of the boys who had done this to the next he studied their sneers, grins, and cruel amused eyes. These were some of Renji's buddies and Renji was among them but he didn't make a vile face like they were. Ichigo stared at Renji's face at the very back of the group. He couldn't understand why people did this. Why guys thought it was funny. Why macho straight boys felt it was their duty to taunt peaceful gays. Why people he thought were cool with him did nothing to stop them... These bullies could go straight to hell... Ichigo felt a lot of anger toward Renji's friends, but not toward Renji yet - who hadn't encouraged this or taken a role in this. All the same he couldn't understand why Renji was just watching without a word.

 

            Renji stared back at Ichigo with something upsetting dawning on him and physically showed that emotion in his eyes before, in some seconds, he forced himself to appear neutral again. He _could not_ be caught being empathetic.

 

            Ichigo continued to study Renji, long enough so that Renji's friends turned one by one.

 

            "What'd you think of this?" Steven nagged.

 

            Renji, wide eyed for a second, made his neutral stand better known and shrugged. "I don't care. It doesn't mean anything."

 

            Something horrible was uncased by those words.

 

            Ichigo knelt and began scraping his belongings together. He pretended he hadn't heard anything and luckily the band of unkind kids passed up opportunity to annoy him further or break his stuff. Renji was the last to walk by as they all passed. Ichigo's eyes were down until he saw the black sandals Renji typically wore. When he sought Renji's stare as the boy passed him it wasn't there; he was blown past. Watching Renji he remained hunched for as long as it took the whole group to walk to the end of the hall. At the corner Ichigo's breathing was anxious, waiting and hoping for Renji to just look at him. Just once. _'Don't ignore me...I thought we were at least friends...'_

 

            Renji _didn't_ look back _once_ as his yammering friends turned the corner and he followed them...he looked twice. Once just before his friends were out of Ichigo's line of sight - around the hallway's bend. Then checked his footing or acknowledged something said to him before he looked at Ichigo again before he too walked around that corner. Just before he was gone, Renji did what he was good at. Silent speech. _'Sorry'_ he mouthed to Ichigo before being quick to follow his friends. He was actually sorry, but he was also gone.

 

            A sadness ached through all of Ichigo, worse than it usually did about simpler things. Renji and he had hung out a few times since that day of detention and after going to the party supply store. Pizza. A movie at Ichigo's house. Go-karts. It was all good fun. By communicating they'd come to know each other better. He doubted anybody but him knew that Renji was born out of the country and had an accent that he worked very hard to cover up; a small secret the other boy had shared with him in good faith. Ichigo liked having that secret between them. He also liked Renji's company a whole lot and they got along really well outside of school. So this was part of what Renji meant a while ago when he'd said that they couldn't talk at school. So that was what he meant... No communication at all. Ichigo couldn't back out of the crushing feeling that disconnection caused him. It also confused him; the two of them seemed like better friends than those jerks bullying him were to Renji. Ultimately Ichigo jammed his school stuff into his bookcase, and without bothering the things in his locker, shut the locker, and ran up the hallway - around the corner. The back of Renji's head and his friends' were shown through the upper glass of the school's side entrance door.

 

            They were all outside already and Renji seemed to be too preoccupied to worry about who he'd left behind in the building.

 

            Ichigo didn't walk outside until he couldn't see the group anymore. Despite remembering the 'sorry' mouthed at him he felt a bit angry now and wanted to hit Renji in his stupid face, but at the same time he wanted to cry. It was hard, growing up, because crying was vastly seen as a pussy thing to do...and even if bullies treated him like a pussy Ichigo wasn't one. So he didn't want to seem like it in any avoidable way, but he really wanted a warm hug right now...the fact that he wouldn't get one immediately made his natural urge to cry stronger. Just one hug to make himself still feel liked and less like an outcast. Wasn't there anyone who would run to him with what he needed?


	4. Four - Run

_[Weeks have passed... Renji's house.]_

            Renji's phone buzzed and he groaned, shuffling for it under his study papers. If this kept up he was definitely going to flunk this test. Distractions. He woke his phone's screen up. Not a message from Sandy, Steven, or Sean. From Ichigo? "Oh man..." He figured he was in for a scolding that would be scalding as his conscience reminded him that he'd walked away from Ichigo repeatedly this week...and last. Avoidance was a bitch but...they had sort of decided that they could maybe be better friends _after_ high school - when Renji's friends weren't breathing on either of their necks. ...or at least Renji had decided that and told Ichigo. So far a lot of these weeks had been a series of unfair events, brushing Ichigo off.

 

 _'I'm done.'_ the text read.

 

            Renji squinted at the short sentence and quickly sent back, _'why?'_ He didn't like vague messages; he wasn't patient enough to decode those quickly.

 

            Several minutes later, _'I'm done. I'm not doing this with you anymore.'_

 

            Renji swallowed, _' we're done? plz no.'_ Renji nervously tapped his phone, finger against it, it against the papers on his desk.

 

_'You ignore me all of the time now. Worse, if you are ignoring me your friends aren't.'_

 

            He couldn't study now. _'u know I don't think they're cool. could we still be a thing?'_ Renji scratched the side of his head, anxious to hear the reply. It took a while but it came.

 

_'No.'_

 

_'i'm sorry.'_

 

_'For yourself. Look, I'm finished, go back to your happy popular life.'_

 

_'i'm sorry.'_

 

_'Insincere jerk-off.'_

 

            Renji stared at the message for a long time, eyes not salty with tears but his conscience stinging. He would get Ichigo to listen to reason. He had good reasons, he'd just been making bad calls lately. _'but i want to keep u. and i'll love u once they aren't around. we can try to hang out without my friends. how about 2morrow?'_

 

_'No.'_

 

_'i want to see u.'_

 

_'I don't want to see you, but since you don't talk to my face anymore I'll say goodbye to you this way: Goodbye, R.'_

 

            Rubbing his face, sweating and looking all around for something to inspire him with just the right words to stop whatever this was, Renji searched himself desperately and deeply for a way to fix it. _'tell me in person.'_

 

_'You're the worst. So selfish.'_

 

 _'i'm sorry for how i've been walking away. i'm going to buy u that book u wanted so u can tell me how it ends. u should come out to see me.'_ Renji was actually sorry.

 

_'Thanks but you've stepped on me enough. You can leave it on my casket. See you again, never.'_

 

            Renji felt a cold sweat start that only grew colder with every slow second that passed after reading. 'Casket'? Woah, woah...what? Renji reread the massage, he hoped to have misread it the first time. No. He'd read it right. A chilly awakening shot through Renji as he held the phone and understood what his kindest friend most likely meant. The hands holding his touch-screen phone went chilly and fingers rushed to send another text. _'where are u?'_ He waited. Nothing for a minute. _'Ichi where are u?'_ Again he paused, for less time though. For several minutes he typed out variations of the question to entice his friend to answer back. He got no answers. He tried calling Ichigo's phone. No answer. Renji began to tremble. Ichigo was _'saying goodbye'_ and telling him to leave things on his casket. With a crash Renji bolted from his study desk and his rolling chair hit the floor in his recklessness. He'd nearly tripped over that thing in getting out of his room. Those messages were a somber signal that someone was thinking about checking out entirely. He was not going to allow something to happen to Ichigo because he'd fucked up with them. No way! Four long blocks to Ichigo's house; it was the first place he would check, and damn he was glad to remember where Ichigo lived after visiting once. Even if Renji looked like a fool for his panic, his friend wasn't getting away with whatever this was so easy. Renji slammed on a hoodie with no shirt under it and hiked up his sweatpants. As he ran, half stumbled, down the stairs from his room he grabbed his flat-soled skater's shoes and keys off the table nearby and hopped out the door while putting the shoes on. Looking around he didn't see any transportation; Renji's older brother seemed to have taken the motorcycle for the day. Damn. The boy started into a jog along his sidewalk with his hoodie open and cold air cutting against his bare chest. He should stop to... More important thoughts took his physical discomfort's place. Renji woke up his phone again as he wriggled around the trash cans in front of his neighbors' houses and was rereading the entire sad little conversation and sending another message. _'please don't do anything. please Ichigo.'_ He tried calling again. No answer.

 

            Pressing physical limitations he broke into a dead-out sprint, heaving cold air and forgetting about zipping his hoodie entirely. Renji didn't waste his time. One block. _'I'll run to you!'_ Two blocks. _'I'll make it!'_ Three blocks. Four blocks. Renji leapt the height of the front yard's scrubs at Ichigo's house, jumped right over them. With no cars in the driveway he figured Ichigo's parents weren't at home; that was more bad news. Nearly breathless, he banged on the front door to the large house and rang the bell repeatedly. Looking upward he saw a light in the corner room of the house on and Ichigo's cat was sitting on the sill staring at someone or something behind it. The curtain and rod that would have hung above the window was ripped down and hanging next to the cat at an angle. Something was very wrong. "ICHI!" Renji tried twisting the door knob; it was locked. "ICHI! Please man! I'm sorry! I didn't want you feel like you needed to go away!" Silence answered him. Half his hoodie was off a bare shoulder and Renji's eyes darted around for some way in. Not readily seeing any he resorted to his phone. _'open the door Ichigo.'_ What was usually a composed troublemaker was now a sweating, frantic mess of a kid.

 

            Renji looked fast for Ichigo's sister's contact in his phone. She was the only relative whose number he had, by chance even. The phone rang and rang and rang. He had to leave a message. "Your brother is scaring the shit out of me. Where are you? Tell your parents that they should come home a-" The phone beeped and the call dropped. Bad reception. "Shit!"

 

            Now his troublemaking habits might be handy; his friend was deliberately refusing to cooperate so they were probably his only option here. He'd broken into houses before. A way in! Find one. He searched obvious places and not so obvious ones for a spare key, but came away with nothing. Garage door? Renji ran for it and heaved at the handle. It was electric and probably locked since when he pulled upward it didn't give even a little. Since there was a handle installed there had to be some way to open it manually... He gave the thing another few pulls and had no luck. Next he tried guessing at the pass-code many times as he punched at the numbers on the pad by the large door. His fingers trembled to punch the buttons. If the brick fence around the sides of the house wasn't nine feet in the air he could have gone in that way. This damn house was like a fortress. Failing to get a correct code Renji looked fast for another method. An open window? A ladder? None of those. He spied a cord under the garage door laying on the ground and barely sticking out. Maybe without power it would open manually, if this was the power cord. Immediately Renji got his hands on it. "ICHI DON'T DO ANYTHING!" he bellowed at the house. Frantically he pulled until something creaked, snapped, and Renji fell backward into the yard with the slack that the cord had given up. Sore from his tumble the boy drug himself to his feet and dashed for the garage door, heaving to raise it. That didn't work, it wouldn't raise. Renji slammed his hands against the metal and it rattled. He was scared and stressed and this barrier was just impossible to lift. Just how much was Ichigo's life worth? Renji stared across to the widows on the front of the house. They were a little high to reach; but his friend's life was definitely worth more than one of those. A stone animal from the front yard tumbled into the house as it flew upward and shattered the glass.

 

            Using his hoodie's sleeves to keep from bloodying his hands Renji pulled up his weight while holding the edge of the window and crawled into the house over broken glass. The inside of the house was just as fancy as he remembered from before. Shattered glass on the floor tarnished the tidy look of it. A second to run to the stairs. One more to race up them, spreading glass shards everywhere as shook them off and two seconds, one per the two kicks it took to knock in Ichigo's locked bedroom door.

 

            Ichigo was on the floor and three miscellaneous bottles of prescribed medicines were empty nearby. The torn down curtain was snagged on his arm and the cat remained in the window. There was an unfinished message on Ichigo's phone beside the bottles that was supposed to be sent to Renji, _'I can't hurt because of you anym-'_

 

            Renji collapsed when he saw his friend motionless on the carpet and cried out when he saw the message. He snatched Ichigo's phone to call an emergency line. Shakily he described best what he saw; not breathing, unconscious, the names of the medications, he'd broken into the house to save his friend - so he wouldn't seem like he'd been robbing the place or something. Tearing up, but not bawling, Renji set down the phone after the operator assured him help was coming and had instructed him on how to do CPR; the line to the operator still active. He was panicky and the instructions were jumbled in his head. Renji hugged his friend's unmoving body against himself and the man on the phone could probably hear him start sobbing like a baby into the other boy's shirt. "I'll never ignore you again. Not ever Ichi, even if you annoy the shit out of me." Thirty seconds passed. Brain damage from lack of oxygen wouldn't wait for an ambulance, it would ruin Ichigo's great mind. Renji didn't want that, but he needed to calm down. "You're so smart, and you're a dork...wake up..." A full minute. He just wanted his friend to be alright..! "I fucking love you man...please give me another chance. I'll be proud to hang with you in front of everyone from now on. Please..! I'll-" Renji had a sudden wracking thought, a reminder. Ichigo was always telling him to listen better. This was a crucial time to take that advice. Renji stopped freaking out, he'd fix this! He damn well would! Calming down helped him think. Useful emergency responses had been taught at their school about a year ago to every student. So for Renji the instructions from the operator started to feel familiar and easier to follow as he thought about what he'd learned. No obvious obstructions in Ichigo's throat, Renji started a chest compression for CPR and gained a pained gurgling from the other boy. He'd been mistaken! Ichigo was faintly _conscious_ and began attempting to cough! Nabbing the phone Renji began to drag Ichigo out of his room and to the bathroom. "He's actually conscious and choking! I learned something that can help." The operator began trying to discourage his inexperienced improvising but Renji assured him that he knew how to do abdominal thrusts from a class in school. Renji obviously wasn't a trained paramedic, or a kid with a doctoral dream, or even planning on interning as a medic; he was just a kid armed with a mind for what was important and a sense of duty to execute it. Holding his friend in front of the bathtub Renji gave Ichigo several sturdy abdominal thrusts, pressure on the lower area of his diaphragm, and Ichigo's body convulsed.

 

            The sandy orange-haired teenager spat out substance on Renji's hand as it made sure Ichigo's mouth stayed open and suddenly Ichigo was coughing, stirring uncomfortably, and heaving to get air. Breathing!

 

            "Ichigo..!" Renji held his friend so Ichigo wouldn't fall or choke. That was the best advice he'd ever gotten from school! Ever! His friend continued spitting up undigested pill capsules. It was really gross...but really necessary. There were so many of the slimy pills. As Renji looked at them all he wondered how this hadn't ended worse. The operator was now talking very loud with repeated 'hellos?' to get an answer but Renji was busy, he held a coughing Ichigo against him, himself leaning back against the edge of the toilet beside the tub. His friend trembled... Renji cried silently... They both were in shock of different kinds. "A-are you done? Was that all of them?"

 

            "I-I...do-on't know-w..." Ichigo knew by the scent, which he could definitely smell over other things, who had a hold on him. It was Renji's cologne. "I s-swallowed t-too many at once. Were st-tuck in my thro-oat...could-dn't bre-eathe." His coughing began to wind down and his rational senses returning - bringing a sense of regret for the fatal attempt.

 

            So...they hadn't all been in Ichigo's stomach? Well if he hadn't coughed up all of the stuck ones they'd probably gone down to Ichigo's stomach. A fact; projecting out substance left in one's stomach before digestion could coincidentally save someone from suffering poisoning or death. Better safe than sorry. Renji helped Ichigo throw up to make sure. His friend hacked until his throat felt raw and Renji actually counted the whole capsules he could see, relieved to hear from the other that the bottles hadn't been very full as he only counted half of what he figured was supposed to be the amount in the bottles.

 

            Weak and drooling, definitely looking his worst ever, Ichigo curled up against Renji and clung to him while the troublemaker - or his savior at least for today - talked to the operator on the opposite end of the emergency call. They hugged each other and oddly nothing about the smell of vomit, sweat, and salt of tears, was given a lot of thought. Those discomforts were just minor in the grand scheme of the whole scare.

 

            One boy was so relieved about his timing, and the live body he could hold and feel breathing, and relieved also by knowing that he had a second chance to be a better part of his friend's life. The other one was so grateful to just be alive after committing a such a horrible mistake - trying to kill himself because of overwhelming distress from bullies and heartbreak.

 

            Ichigo was certain that trying to end his life was a mistake. If it wasn't, Renji wouldn't be crying and consoling him and assuring him of how important he was to him repeatedly as he was right now. Renji was a more sensitive guy than he'd thought, and that warmed Ichigo's heart.


	5. Five - Stay

            It didn't take long after the incidents of recent to cause the serious reality check Renji had needed to kick in; he began treating Ichigo much kinder. After Ichigo's release from their local hospital when the sandy orange-haired teen felt much better Renji took him to dinner on his brother's motorcycle. It would have been lunch but it was nighttime and Renji wanted to spend time with him right away!

 

            In the following weeks Renji's friends baulked and lashed out when they came to realize that his more frequent presence around the 'gay kid in school' wasn't a coincidence or means to tease Ichigo. At first some of them had tried to chime in with Renji's act, or so they thought it was, in order to pick at Ichigo. Even Renji didn't realize at first that Steven and Sandy were planning to harass his friend. After he punched Steven for grabbing Ichigo's shoulder one day Sandy rushed to blab the news to the rest of the people who revolved around Renji. They weren't going to 'worship' Renji anymore. Renji the troublemaker did not give a shit what they thought. His priorities were 'a changing. Since they weren't going to be nice to Ichigo they weren't any good as friends to him, but because of who Renji was his former friends were too intimidated by him to tease either of them for much longer. The bullying stopped altogether. For a while Renji would still be shy about life-style shift, but he was working on opening up.

 

            Not just Renji was making improvements. Ichigo had a counselor who he would pay to see by getting a part-time job. He felt he needed it in addition to Renji's company to make himself right again.

 

 

            A new possession had been snuck into someone's locker to be found; Ichigo hugged Renji's arm...and the thirteenth volume of his book series against himself tightly. The cover abstractly showed a person on a hill with such a bright rising sun behind them that you couldn't tell who they were. He had a theory that it was Eddy. Ichigo loved the book already and he hadn't even had the chance to start reading it yet! "Thanks for preordering my book, you sneak."

 

            Appreciating the enormous fact that Ichigo was still around to read it Renji smiled warmly. "Maybe I should take it back? You don't like it at all."

 

            "No way!" Ichigo clung continuously to Renji's arm as they tromped through long, uncut grass of the park across from their school on their way home. It was time for the weekend to start. "Are you going to miss your old friends?"

 

            "I'll miss their better sides which they didn't have many of, let's say that."

 

            Ichigo sighed and leaned his cheek against Renji's sculpted arm; he loved it when Renji wore these t-shirts with extremely short sleeves. Muscles...mmmm...

 

            Renji leaned his head against the top of Ichigo's head which made them both feel closer.

 

            "You know I think I'm totally in love with you?"

 

            "Definitely. The feeling is mutual." Renji flushed.

 

            "AHA! You're blushing!"

 

 

I love you.

Believe me...

...because wherever you are, whatever trouble you're in I'd run to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, sometimes when we're growing up we learn things the hard way but not the hardest way (like it could get worse, much worse). Every day that goes by we should make the most of and every meaningful relationship that we have we should treasure.
> 
> Like I said before this story means a lot to me personally and I'm glad to share it in any form because the morals are still the same.
> 
> **Fixed a few grammar things I realized that I'd missed when I published this, and don't think that just because the story has specific morals that there aren't other morals and lessons in there. There's a lot to this brief tale.


End file.
